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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Oh, and I must mention Trasy Street – my stompin’ ground after a long day. I remember this one time, after a hideous argument with a pompous so-and-so who thought life was a script written in Dogville style, I ended up laughing, cackling my head off. “You are either all angels or all bastards!” – that line bugged me, mate. Life’s too short, innit?

Karl Melnik Obituary (2022) - Grand Rapids, MI